hermes-is-my-homeboy:

Coffee drinking has levels. At level 1 you’re ordering fancy blended drinks because aesthetic. At level 5 your tolerance is higher so you switch to regular coffee with cream and sugar. Around level 10 is where people realize that cream causes digestion issues, and experimenting with nut milks begins. By level 15 you’ve given up on cream and milk entirely.

But at level 100? You are tired of humanity’s shit. Your coffee is likely to be as black and bitter as your soul, and when you tell your barista to fill it to the top they just give you that knowing look.

Decaf is like level 1,000 because anyone drinking it just plain loves coffee and that’s a special kind of dedication ♥️

You’ve reached a balance that I can only aspire to obtain

witchuscanadia:

theoiworship:

💚

Guys I think Hermes is really cool. Like he’s messing with me a little , but I like it. He’s fun and I wanna get to know him better, any particular offerings you think he’d like? I wanna make a good first impression. He’s been hanging around me a while but I never really did much for him, but he’s awesome and I wanna make him happy 😊

Hermes in my experience is incredibly chill and its hard to make a bad impression. he’s friend of mortals and knows us pretty well. I started a small change bowl for him at first, but you can also try playing some card games for him

Farkle is also a good game to play, and you could play against yourself. its a chance game with 5 or 6 dice and you try to get to 2000 points. 1s are worth 100 and 5s are worth 50, all other numbers you have to get three of to make a number (three 3s make 300, three 4s make 400). when you roll choose dice you want to keep and roll again, but if you can’t make an amount in that roll you lose your points and the other ‘person’ goes next. you could technically play for Hermes, you just need to roll and count for him

Coffee drinking has levels. At level 1 you’re ordering fancy blended drinks because aesthetic. At level 5 your tolerance is higher so you switch to regular coffee with cream and sugar. Around level 10 is where people realize that cream causes digestion issues, and experimenting with nut milks begins. By level 15 you’ve given up on cream and milk entirely.

But at level 100? You are tired of humanity’s shit. Your coffee is likely to be as black and bitter as your soul, and when you tell your barista to fill it to the top they just give you that knowing look.

frowningfoxbones:

former-fatty:

dear-tumb1r:

topsiders-tanlines:

thespacemaid:

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

– dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer
– sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

– rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.